Categories
Mental illness

The Forgetting Is What Defines Me


Dilate

Ani DiFranco

Life used to be life-like
Now it’s more like show biz
I wake up in the night
And I don’t know where the bathroom is
And I don’t know what town I’m in
Or what sky I am under
And I wake up in the darkness and I
Don’t have the will anymore to wonder
Everyone has a skeleton
And a closet to keep it in
And you’re mine
Every song has a you
A you that the singer sings to
And you’re it this time
Baby, you’re it this timeWhen I need to wipe my face
I use the back of my hand
And I like to take up space
Just because I can
And I use my dress
To wipe up my drink
I care less and less
What people think
And you are so lame
You always disappoint me
It’s kinda like our running joke
But it’s really not funny
I just want you to live up to
The image of you I create
I see you and I’m so unsatisfied
I see you and I dilateSo I’ll walk the plank and I’ll jump with a smile
If I’m gonna go down
I’m gonna do it with style
And you won’t see me surrender
You won’t hear me confess
‘Cause you’ve left me with nothing
But I’ve worked with less
And I learn every room long enough
To make it to the door
And then I hear it click shut behind me
And every key works differently
I forget every time
And the forgetting defines me
That’s what defines meWhen I say you sucked my brain out
The english translation
Is I am in love with you
And it is no fun
But I don’t use words like love
‘Cause words like that don’t matter
But don’t look so offended
You know, you should be flattered
And I wake up in the night
In some big hotel bed
My hands grope for the light
My hands grope for my head
The world is my oyster
The road is my home
And I know that I’m better
Off alone



By Sarah Jones

My name is Sarah Jones and I am the author of the blog "Inside My Manic Mind". I began blogging as a way to cope with my grief after my husband's suicide October 23, 2017. Like my husband, I also suffer from episodes of severe mental Illness. My goal is to educate those who are not mentally ill about what mental illness is and what it isn't. I hope that by educating people we can fight the stigma surrounding mental illness that still exists, even in 2020. I also am reaching out to those suffering from mental Illness and relating to them with my personal experiences. Lastly, if I can save a single life from suicide and their families the heartbreak that follows, I am not only honoring my late husband but hopefully helping someone feeling so alone and desperate by letting them know they are NOT alone. To me, that would be success.

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