18 Things I Would Rather Do Than Spend Another Day Stuck In My House

1. Take shots of habanero sauce.

2. Put a needle through my eye ball.

3. Sit on a plane next to a telemarketer practicing their skit.

4. Have to pay for everything with Bitcoin.

5. Listen to “Gangnam Style” on a loop.

6. Be on a train that has derailed.

7. Sit in a public bathroom.

8. Talk about my feelings with my ex-husband.

9. Go base jumping ( I’m scared of heights ).

10. Stand in line for the bathroom next to a water fountain.

11. Read Kafka.

12. Read War & Peace.

13. Stuck in the car with The Wiggles while they sing ” toot toot chugga chugga big red car”.

14. Watch Elmo in Grouchland in a room with 50 crying toddlers.

15. Write a list about lists.

16. Read a list about lists.

17. Be locked up in a psych ward playing cards with Michael Myers.

18. Eat chitlins.

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