I took a little break from my meds recently. BIG MISTAKE. It always is. I felt better without them at first, but that was just the mania. I should know better. The crash was bad. Really fucking bad. I should have been hospitalized a few times but I rode it out.
When you don’t have insurance you go to the state-funded hospital. It’s no bueno. So I basically haven’t left my bedroom in 2 months. I haven’t really left the bed in 2 months. I am taking my meds now and feeling much better I am happy to report.
Now I need to get out of here! The problem is I have nowhere to go. I don’t really have friends anymore and my family doesn’t really have much to do with me either. Ahhhhhh!!! I’m sure I will figure something out. I’m almost desperate at this point just to do something.
I began this blog partly out of boredom. It fills the time. But, I need some ideas so this is what I came up with..
1. Play air guitar to all my favorite song
2. Memorize lyrics to my favorite songs
3. Contemplate the meaning of life
4. Organize my closet ( blah )
5. Organize my closet ( blah )
6. Study quantum physics and try to understand it
7. Paint a picture
8. Read a novel
9. Write a novel
11. Knit something
12. Study the Bible
13. Write a song
14. Play my drums
15. Make jewelry
16. Tie dye stuff
17. Make prank phone calls from a textnow number
18. Learn a British accent
19. Write a screenplay
20. Perform the screenplay ( for myself )
21. Build a fort
22. Take a Xanax and lay down ( my favorite )
23. Bake something
24. Clean something ( ugh )
25. Continue doing nothing and complain of boredom ( most likely outcome )
All of these are perfectly lovely choices, I just don’t feel like doing any of it. Yet, I want to do something. Are you seeing my dilemma? I probably drive my boyfriend crazy lol, poor guy. Well, I think I’ll take a nap.