I Am Back

Hi everyone, I want to begin by apologizing. I haven’t written anything new in awhile and believe me there is a good reason.

I haven’t been doing so well mentally. It’s scary because I know where this road can lead all too well. I’m not suicidal or anything, I just know the capability is there always and I have a very big fear of feeling that horrible pull toward the end of the line. I don’t ever want to feel that again. Especially after living through the experience of losing my husband to suicide and also seeing the effects his death and the choice of his death has affected so many lives in a devastating way.

My poor boyfriend. I don’t know how he puts up with me let alone lives with me. He takes such good care of me and even though I look like hell right now and somehow he also still thinks I’m pretty. Poor delusional bastard… Seriously though, I am so grateful for him.

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