Mental illness

Ugh, life…

, so I have ranted in the past about money problems. We all have them to some extent. Mine however, are seemingly never fucking ending.

I am in what is referred to as, the “payday loan trap”. It’s hell. Sure, the loan helped out at the time when I first acquired it. Now it’s a huge burden.

Every month I have to overdraw my bank account to pay the payday loan place, then I have to take out another loan to make up for the overdraft.

It’s a circle, so I guess it goes on forever??

It’s so frustrating to always be worried about money and how we are going to eat the second half of the month.

(The second half of the month is usually when things turn to shit.)

I know I need to fix this problem but I’m really not sure how…


The anxiety I’m feeling is incredibly overwhelming and I need to get a handle on that too.

Being at the Dollar Tree right now, was a bad move. Luckily my boyfriend came to my rescue. That means he waited in line while I went to the car.

I have had enough. Enough of stuff moving around me so fast, enough of people talking incessantly about this or that, enough of these $1 potholders looking at me all smug.

I’m taking a time out. I’m going to take a bath and maybe catch up on some reading. If you need me, I’m unavailable. Make an appointment for the 5th of never.


By Sarah Jones

My name is Sarah Jones and I am the author of the blog "Inside My Manic Mind". I began blogging as a way to cope with my grief after my husband's suicide October 23, 2017. Like my husband, I also suffer from episodes of severe mental Illness. My goal is to educate those who are not mentally ill about what mental illness is and what it isn't. I hope that by educating people we can fight the stigma surrounding mental illness that still exists, even in 2020. I also am reaching out to those suffering from mental Illness and relating to them with my personal experiences. Lastly, if I can save a single life from suicide and their families the heartbreak that follows, I am not only honoring my late husband but hopefully helping someone feeling so alone and desperate by letting them know they are NOT alone. To me, that would be success.

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