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Mental illness

Oh, An Epiphany


The thing about epiphanies, is they happen to you when you least expect it. In a matter of moments, you gain clarity and think, “Wow, so I’m an even bigger idiot than I thought!”. Well, that’s usually how mine go.

I would go as far to say that 80% of my epiphanies are actually very geeky moments for me. I’m knocked back by the truth.

First, I lose the ability to speak.

Secondly, all brain function goes into hyper-drive. I’m shocked over the revelation, I’m freaked the fuck out over the revelation, and then the rest is just me being in awe of myself that I didn’t really know this all along. Usually calling myself an idiot over and over. I know it’s not nice to say that to myself, but come on.

Most of the time, these smacks by the universe are crazy. Well, they are only crazy by the way they hurt. Like a bitch. I mean, bad.

We all like to believe we are right. Some of us know for certain we are right all of the time. Upon realizing I am so wrong, this is when mother earth begins the bitch-slapping.

I am referring to the universes special people. The only thing about them is that when they see their error, they feel really fucking stupid. We don’t like feeling stupid. Plus I hear it ages you. We can’t be having that.

I know I’m going to be okay. I know you are going to be ok. How do I know? You are reading this right now and I’m telling you, it’s going to be okay.

Life is so messy and strange. Sometimes I just sit back and think, “holy shit, one thing… just one thing can change it all.”

What if…

By Sarah Jones

My name is Sarah Jones and I am the author of the blog "Inside My Manic Mind". I began blogging as a way to cope with my grief after my husband's suicide October 23, 2017. Like my husband, I also suffer from episodes of severe mental Illness. My goal is to educate those who are not mentally ill about what mental illness is and what it isn't. I hope that by educating people we can fight the stigma surrounding mental illness that still exists, even in 2020. I also am reaching out to those suffering from mental Illness and relating to them with my personal experiences. Lastly, if I can save a single life from suicide and their families the heartbreak that follows, I am not only honoring my late husband but hopefully helping someone feeling so alone and desperate by letting them know they are NOT alone. To me, that would be success.

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