Categories
Good Advice Thoughts on life

Love In A Time Of Pure Craziness


There is a lot I can’t say on this platform for various reasons. The most important reason is that my children have access to my blog and I want their innocence to remain intact as long as possible.

I can say though, that I have had a very full and interesting life with so many stages, twists, turns, heartbreak and a lot of love thrown in the mix.

Everyone has been asked at one time or another, if they could live their life over again if they would change anything. I have heard about fifty percent say yes and fifty percent say no.

I am on the fence about that particular question and have gone back and forth on my opinion of it many times over the years.

I have had the same generic answer everyone usually gives when referring to a life of no regrets. It usually goes something like this… “I have no regrets because my mistakes have helped mold me into the person I am today.”

I’m calling bullshit on that whole thing. Okay, it’s not complete bullshit, but come on. Of course we have regret. Of course we wish our lives had been a little easier or we had taken that vacation last summer. Everyone has regret.

Before you argue or dismiss what I’m saying, think about the last time you said, “I wish I had (fill in blank).” Five minutes after I began writing this piece I said, “Man, I wish I had made coffee before I started this.” Regret.

We all regret something, and if we can regret something as small as the route we took to the mall, it’s safe to say we regret some of our past mistakes.

Where I think the “no regrets” speech sort of applies, is within the lessons we learn. I believe we can regret our choices or how some things have played out while still appreciating what we took away from the experience.

I’ve talked about learning and the evolution of the soul in past posts and this regret thing applies. Why can’t we be all of it? Regretful, yet grateful? It’s ok to have regret. It doesn’t make you a bad person or a weak person. What makes you strong is the presence of gratitude.

You might want to smack the hell out of me right now. I get it. However, in times when we reflect on our lives and feel regret, it’s so important to look at where the choices led you and be grateful you made it through without killing everyone.

It’s ok to regret and wish things had gone differently, just don’t beat yourself up about it. Forgive yourself or others involved, be grateful for what you took away from the experience and move forward. Hopefully not making the same mistake multiple times. Even if you do make the same mistakes again, just know you simply haven’t learned what you’re supposed to yet, so look closer at it. Try something different because the old way doesn’t work, you already know that because of regret.

I choose to be grateful for regret. It reminds me that I’m human and imperfect. It also reminds me that I have a conscience telling me, “Girl, that shit ain’t right.” Embrace your regret and then bury it in the backyard next to your ex-husband. (Just kidding).

I’m going to share my favorite quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson I believe fits well here.

Write it on your heart
that every day is the best day in the year.
He or she is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit
to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays.

Categories
Thoughts on life

Perception Is Reality

I used to at least always attempt to be optimistic about everything, even when the universe seemed against me. This is a feat I struggle with immensely now, especially after everything I have been through in my life.

Years of mental health issues, tragedy, or just being a grumpy asshole can turn the optimist into the pessimist; ultimately changing not only one’s perceptions but the course of one’s life.

The butterfly effect based on chaos theory was originally centered around the weather. Since the 1980s, people have also come to think the butterfly effect is a metaphor for how a small, seemingly insignificant event or action can affect or even completely change the outcome.

Perception is kind of like that. What we perceive in any area of life is our reality. You can think, speak or believe things into existence including happiness.

For us mental patients, this is such a good idea in theory but damn near impossible.

I believe to my very core, that the meaning of life is so simple, just hard to attain.

Gratitude and Love

Simple, right? Easy? No. It seems easy but it’s not. Life makes us bitter and angry.

Even the nicest person can have tons of pent up anger and aggression while appearing to be happy and healthy. A person can even be unaware of these toxic feelings until one day they just, snap.

Anger and aggression aren’t even what makes gratitude and love the most difficult.

It gets the hardest when tragedy enters your life. It’s very hard to love and be grateful when your spouse or child just died.

It’s unfair and makes no sense to us when tragedy happens. The only explanation I can come up with is that we are supposed to learn something, and we either get it or we don’t. If we don’t get it in this lifetime, maybe we will in the next one.

Learning to live a life of gratitude and love is very difficult. I know from personal experience that when we at least attempt to attain a life of gratitude and love, the results are magical.

Suddenly doors open that were previously closed, relationships improve and you start living a life you always wanted.

Try it. Make a serious conscious effort to live your life with gratitude and love for two weeks. Hell, try it for one week. You will find something you have been looking for…

Happiness.