The End

Well it’s official. My boyfriend and I have broken up. He thinks I should be happy because I won’t have his controlling ass looming over me constantly but he just doesn’t get it.

In fact, men in general, just don’t get it. Why can’t men realize that all we wanted was you?

All we wanted was to come first to you, be proud to have us, stick up for us no matter what, stop gaslighting us, think that we are the most beautiful women on the planet, etc.

For some reason when men get broken up with, the scared boy in them rears its ugly head, replacing their usual giant egos.

It’s very sad to see a man fall apart at the seams but a part of me thinks they do this on purpose as a last-ditch effort to hold on to us. Oh, so now you appreciate me and can’t live without me? Well, you should have thought about that sooner, buddy.

Where was this sensitive man with feelings when I waited around for the hundredth time, while you were out doing God knows what, and in my car, leaving me stranded for days?

Where was this caring person when you hurt me over and over again by continuing to engage other women on dating websites?

Why didn’t your heart break seeing mine broken by you, over and over after you cheated or lied?

I stayed far too long and taught this man it was ok to treat me like shit because I would still be here. Oh ya? Watch this!

When I first meet people, we inevitably have the same conversation because I must have it. Its the one where I let them know ahead of time that I get taken advantage of and treated badly quite often. I confess I will even put up with it for a while, in hopes that the good of the person will triumph over the evil.

Until I get my fill…

When I reach my filling point, that’s it. I’m done. No backsies. I’m so over it at that point that changing my mind is almost impossible. It would take the grandest of gestures and most men aren’t up for it. Plus, I don’t want to spend my life with someone not willing to make a fool of themselves to show their love.

So I be movin’ on.

The reason I tell everyone this is because once they have used and abused me, my love, my devotion and I get my fill of it, they always seem to think I “flipped the script”.

Asshole, I told you from day 1.

So now I’m being berated by simply doing exactly as I said I would from the very beginning. Go figure.

There were multiple straws breaking this camels back which contributed to the ultimate demise of this relationship. I won’t get too into detail, but it turned out he acted one way to my face and completely disloyal behind my back. Even going so far as to try to convince people that I am not who I appear to be. This is a joke.

Deflection is a good word here. Get the heat off him and point it at the loyal girlfriend. The sucky part is that his stunt worked. I get zero respect from his friends and family because he doesn’t respect me, and I stuck around. When letting people disrespect you, you are telling them it’s ok to treat you like shit. Fuck that.

It’s time for me to love me again. Respect myself.

When my confidence has taken a big blow, it affects everything in my life. It also makes me look incredibly foolish and like a person who doesn’t value myself. Again, I say FUCK THAT.

I know my worth, and I will not accept anything less than what I deserve ever again. Love isn’t enough. The Beatles had it wrong, I’m sorry to say. Love is not all you need.

You need respect, honesty, trust, and damn good listening skills. If my relationship doesn’t have that, then I am wasting precious time. This face could fall any minute leaving me with the need to staple my eyebrows to my ears to resemble my younger self.

This rant needed to happen. Those of you that stuck it out til’ the end, bless you.

My focus is going to be away from men for a long time. I am pointing all focus to my mental health, and my children. It’s way past time…