My Sweet, Sweet Husband

Yesterday marked two years since my husband left this realm of reality that is our planet, Earth. He is out there now on the ultimate adventure and a part of me is a little jealous.

I’m not suicidal or anything, I just am so curious about what is beyond our limited knowledge and understanding of the afterlife and what happens to us. It’s fascinating.

One thing I know for certain is that we don’t really die. The part of us that is “us”, or the soul is made up of energy. The law of conservation of energy states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only be transformed or transferred from one form to another.

I know Keith is still around because I feel him all the time. Sometimes I can even hear him if I’m quiet and still long enough to pay attention. Then there are the dreams.

He hasn’t come to me more than a handful of times in my dreams that I can recall. When he does though, it always seems like a real visit. It’s different from a normal dream. It feels as if we are in a different dimension and we are the only two entities that exist there.

Yesterday, I pretty much stayed in bed. I slept off and on and during one of my naps, Keith came. He picked me up from someplace and said, “Are you ready, dear?”

I ran up to him and threw my arms around him immediately in tears and exclaimed, “Where have you been?? You were gone forever, I thought you were dead!”

He replied, “Now, you know I’m not dead, right?”

I looked up at him incredulously and said, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know that, but why can’t I see you anytime I want?”

He said something poignant to me and I remembered the gist of it when I woke up so I looked it up. It was a quote by the poet Emily Dickinson.

Keith smiled at me and said, “Forever is composed of moments.”

Frustrated I asked what he meant and he basically said that I have many things to accomplish while I’m here. Be patient and take nothing for granted. He said he will always be close by, keeping watch, and loving me. He said after my series of moments on this plane of existence, he will come for me and we can be together. Until then I must be satisfied with the lovely invasion into my sleep.

We ended our visit with something we said to each other every day we were together.

I said, “You are my sweet, sweet husband.”

He returned with, “And you are my lovely wife.”

Me & my sweet, sweet husband Keith. Photo taken two days prior to his suicide.
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Without you

By Sarah Jones

Dedicated to Keith Jones

I thank God

That these tears will fall

All I see

Is that without you, I’m weak

I should have stopped you

I didn’t know, I didn’t know. 

All I see is that without you, I’m lost 

All I know, is that without you, I bleed

I should have known 

The pain you felt

I felt you every second, every minute

How could I not, how could I not know

That day is imprinted inside me 

All I see is that without you, I sing

All I know,  is that these tears will fall 

But I didn’t know, I didn’t know

That you were in pain

All I need is to dream

Then all I see is you

All I know is that these tears will fall 

Until we meet again 

It’s only me…

This song came to me yesterday after a visit from my late husband in a dream. He died by suicide, and this song is about and dedicated to his beautiful memory. I will love him and miss him every day of my life.

Also, a little inside joke for you. The last line , “it’s only me”, was something he always said when I complimented him.